It's all about her (fictional) Part 1 & 2

(1 PART)

Mira's POV

I was sitting in front of my dresser, getting ready for the so-called meeting my parents had arranged for me; Matchmaking, that's what they call...

"Don't you have at least one single picture of his in your phone" Kavya, my best friend grumbled, scrolling through my phone gallery without my permission.

"No" I replied flatly, why the hell would I have a picture of a guy whom I met once? Suresh and I WERE childhood friends, but after their family shifted out, we never once saw each other, let alone talked to him.

She made the tch sound, extremely disappointed at my disinterest in the matter. When I was about to counter her with something savage; a knocked on the door distracted us.

It was my mother, she was peeping through the door so I presume she had already stepped in before showing her presence. It had always been like that. Being born in a conservative family and on top of that growing up in Delhi like a city; there's nothing else to expect. Kind of used to it but it never failed to get me irked on some occasions. 

Wherever we go or if our parents are out of town, there will always be someone who'll accompany us, keeping watch. Though it was worse before, the time when Geet bought a second phone in the household —  with her own income —  apart from my dad,  he used to go through it once a while. we were not allowed to talk to boys, there were restrictions on clothes and hair, yada yada yada. Basically, our family had stopped functioning properly a long ago, they are stuck in the 70's era due to some glitch. We have one of the ancient and rare species in Duggal house people!

Geet, my elder sister, who was at least slightly sane, had been brainwashed after marriage, where she used to say "enjoy your life before it turns dull", now has become "It is our fate, we have to accept". Every time she would sit beside me and try to persuade me like some sorcery witchcraft; I would stick my tongue out at her and ran away.

"Are you ready Beta?" mom asked with a mellifluous voice, I could only hum in reply, the feeling was heavy, a ball of uncertainty ran through me. We are supposed to meet the Singh's today; my future in-laws. Everything is plotted amazingly, this meeting would only serve as a formality nothing more. I've said that I don't want marriage this early, but they were blinded by "LONDON" and I was done for. 

I remember the day when Shing's proposed the marriage, we sat in the living room, mom and dad both going on and on, how grateful we should be, Singh's were considering Meera even though they could've found some other girl for Suresh, and there I sat in the corner, watching them overwhelmed with the thought. They were happy for me, to which I could not find myself relating. 

 

Well, I knew it won't make any difference; it never did before. So instead, I grabbed my dupatta, hung it on my shoulder, she was doing her one last inspection on the outfit I wore, averted my eyes I just walked past her out of the door. 

--

A steady wind blew around us, as Suresh and I walked around the garden attached to the restaurant . You know that typical, Hindi movie scene, "you kids go have a talk alone", I wanted to roll my eyes so bad that I had to hide my face behind that glass of water. 

Sigh*

After a minute I found myself walking down the path that seems to be endless for me. Every step was like a huge effort to hold in the words I was contemplating to say. Suresh was used to be skinny, good-looking, and a rude brat. He used to kick me out from their game saying she's too dumb to understand. ugh, how I hated him and still had to see his face in school, family outings, and all. 

But now it's weirdly uncomfortable in its own way to even look at him. There's nothing common in us, nothing that'll help for a talk. it's gotten boring now, beyond boring, With our awkward steps, hands clasped not to let it brushed. 

I wished he could read faces; because there was a big bold "DISINTRESTED" written on mine. 

Suddenly he asked "what do you do?" it was a casual question noting to be offended of but I was caught off guard, how to answer that was the worry.

"I work as a sales executive in a showroom" there, I said it. He must have already know my occupation but the disappointment was clearly reflecting on his face. I couldn't help but wonder whether his parents were forcing this marriage on his just as how mine did with me. 

He is way out of her league, Electrical Engineer, job in London, wasn't it enough reason; A pure example of how they are like two different ends of a bridge, never meant to be together. It doesn't make sense in the first place, and because of the elders I'm experiencing first hand embarrassment. 

"ah, nice", he continued after a long pause "do you want this marriage?", adding "can you manage in UK"

His abrupt question made my heart race with anxiety. My hands fumble on the ends of my dupatta. They were not questions he was curious off, he was stating the fact, his opinion, I remained quiet. 

And then there came his damaged control reply, which was even worse. "I mean, we live an opposite lifestyle" you are no match for me "it'll be hard for you in a foreign country" I have to feed her for a lifetime. , It was not hard to understand what he meant with each statement. Shouldn't I feel relief, it what I wanted anyway, but no it felt like a tight slap. Painful than a time when I broke my arm and had to carry it in a cast for a month.

--

"I'm not gonna marry him, never," I said loud and clear. My mother stared back at me then at my dad; dumbfounded. She was taken aback by my bluntness. Guess that's the expression when your expectation doesn't meet reality, they are used to seeing nodding head. 

But I had my mindset from the start.
Geet had compromised with her life, but I would not. That guy clearly looks down at me, how am I supposed to see that very expression for my whole life, which had burned me like a fire. 

Only if I had known with just that one statement of mine, my mother would call the entire crisis management team and put me on gunpoint; I would've preferred to flee straight out of the country.

It was incidental. 

In the end, the dreaded decision was made, after that Mini Mahabharat at our Duggal's house, I, Mira Duggal had married off to Suresh Singh and shifted permanently to the UK. 
-----

(Part 2)

 "every action has an equal and opposite reaction"

This was my real-life example of Newton's law. Amusing isn't it. 

After all, crying full of buckets, stomping feet, and yelling on top of my lungs that I almost lost my voice, had got me in a first-class seat, to the UK. 

Few months have passed, I have to admit I was baffled upon landing in London. It was my first time out of the country, hell, out of the city to be honest. For the first few days, I thought, I love it here. but then like a slow poison, it started to hit off in the wrong way. I couldn't go out, shopping was out of the question, the struggle with currency change, language, in every aspect I found myself standing out like a sour thumb. Suresh voluntarily helped, but it was not enough. His parents left for India, now that Meera is here, we can go back to our country and relax, they said. what was it? did they wanted a housemaid? of course, where else you'll get a servent without wrying about their salary. but I'm no housemaid, I just do my part of cleaning, and Suresh does his own. I don't care what kind of species he raised in his room but I clean mine without a spot.     

It was Monday morning, another day at home, cooking, cleaning, watching TV, all of that with my own company. I can't complain about being alone though, it's just complicated. When Suresh is there in the house I wonder when is this day going to end or hope he'll receive a call from a friend and leaves, and when I'm alone time tends to run slower, and boring. We do talk to each other, majorly it'll be about food, restaurants, and some random stuff. He tries hard, and I don't know why, if it was me I would have thought "Huh, I'm not here to entertain, let him get uncomfortable and die". 

Most of my time in the house I would sit by the window, gaze upon the city, and list out how different it feels — If I had to describe London, it'll be "shaded with grey", with the dark clouds surrounding it at odd timings of the day — Or sometimes head out and stroll around the streets, passing Queensway, the shops, restaurants filled with people and murmurs. At first attempt, I just walked straight skipping all the curve roads, to avoid getting lost. Then day by day I started taking long routes, discovering new allies. Wondering around, not knowing where to go, and finding your own way back, has its own thrill. 

Just like today, It's been quite a long I was roaming around the town like a tourist for more than an hour and felt my feet starting to hurt so I decided to head back. It was past five, as I waited for the lift when someone tabbed on my shoulder, it was Amanda, smiling warmly back at me, she wore a maroon turtle neck with a gray cardigan, now that I remember it had started to get a little chilly here, even in the afternoon a cold breeze would make you regret of heading out without a jacket. With her, perfectly fitted blue jeans made me jealous, and wonder how she managed to look younger in her age, and here I was, seems like had to drag the entire world on my back, the dark circles around the eyes, and those worn-out shoes, and dull clothing, people could easily take me for a criminal on run.

"hi" placing her hands inside pockets "coming back from a walk," asked with eyes ahead. She is the only person I started to talk to after shifting here, perhaps because she was the one who approached me first or the fact that we share the same floor in this building but her warm presence was what dragged me to her. Though I speak very awkward English and it's quite hard sometimes to make out of her British accent; we communicate pretty well.

"yes," I said, with a smile when the lift ringed, and the door opened. We stepped in, Amanda pressed the floor for us both. "you are not working today?" I asked her hesitantly. This was one thing that was really admirable of her, Amanda runs her own cafe downtown, having said that, her husband was the real owner but after his death, she stepped foot ahead and decided to take over the business, saying it's the perfect distraction for me. I've gone to the cafe countless times, she has a staff of people who love her and amazingly kind.

Amanda scrunched her nose, "I took a day off today", and the lift door parted, as I was about to pass her front door, she faced me "want to come over for coffee"  it was then I noticed she pondering on something. I nodded, I don't have anything to do anyway.

Settling down on the dining table my eyes drifted at the window, curtains were drawn back, letting the light illuminate the entire living room, Amanda was making coffee, as she tried to hold up a conversation "so how's your lovely husband?" She asked with a teasing tone.

We quite often spend time in each other's apartment, of course, she comes over only when Suresh's not there. Given the fact that she detests his parents even before I was married to him, and vowed that she'll never spare a glance at them ever again. I thought she was just kidding, but it was not; There's some internal beef going on. I had asked her once, about what happened but she waved her hands and change the subject intentionally, so I didn't probe on the matter much after that. "Just as he was," I replied.

"How was your day?" I asked out of curiosity as she placed a cup in front of me, she looked drained of energy somehow, not her usual self.

Amanda gave a smile that hardly reached her eyes, "It's my daughter's death anniversary" a weight in her tone was clear, as she eyed her coffee, moving her finger on the tip of the cup, drawing circles. I felt heavy in my heart, she was clearly holding it in, "I went to church" she laughed "I never go to church, except this day" her voice cracking with each effort, I was waiting for her to meet my eyes, but she didn't, her head was ducked down.

Not knowing what to do to console her, should I reach for her hand, or give a hug, don't even know if that'll help. "you okay?" my voice came out whispered, and a tear fell down her cheeks, her shoulders were shaking.

Nevertheless of my uncertainty, I flung on my feet taking her in for an embrace, recalling the time when I was in her place, a crying mess and she stood by my side, pulling me closer, caressing my head, like a mother would do to her kid. The light turned a beautiful shade of orange, turning the entire room into gold. We stayed like that for another few moments, her shaking in my arms, and me recalling my farewell.

How my mother cried in my arms at the airport. It was the first time she took me in her embrace, My dad in the back, shaking hands with Suresh, giving him a tab on his shoulder, and then glancing at us. Just like all the other times, his face was blank. there was nothing I could make out of his expression. I pulled back from mom and with one last farewell with Geet, we headed inside towards the terminal.